why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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