i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you had me at cake vodka
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
