Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
