she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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