There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I need water and some morals
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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