think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
