I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
