Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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