At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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