Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
