I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
