And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
