Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
