so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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