I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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