didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
