sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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