I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
