Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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