So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
