So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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