There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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