Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize