I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
