mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
