I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
