Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think a kid would responsible me up
Rumble strips road head = magical
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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