you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
