I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
