he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
