their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
