Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
