The maid of honor just puked.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you will always have a special place in my vag
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
