I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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