Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize