I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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