god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
His nipple licking is glorious
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