the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
