i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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