This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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