Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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