I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
