She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
