Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
