she was so not down for the gang bang
I think I won the penis lottery.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
