shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I love having hate sex.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
