Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
