Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
