Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
