I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
