thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
