I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
