Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
