I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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