last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
