did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
