Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Terrible idea I love it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
