Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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