i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
