glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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