my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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