He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize