Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
