its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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