I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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