So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize