No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
