he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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