Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
