just tell him i said nine months
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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