the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
