she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
