And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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