I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
