fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
