lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
