well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Actions speak louder than pants.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
