Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
