we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
