i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just found puke in my bra..
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
