Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
did you just send me my own nude
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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