I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
