I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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