I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
