So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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