some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
