Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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