she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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