would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
